


Fire, Fresh Rain, and Coconut Butter

by imperialblue



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, HELP HER KYLO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN UP SOONER BUT I WAS TIRED AND HAD FINALS, MAZ IS AN AWESOME BABY SITTER AND COOL IN GENERAL, Memory Loss, PROBALLY DARK!REY LATER ON, SNOKE HOW DARE YOU PREY ON HER, She ships it, Two-Shot, YOU JERK, but my writing is bad..., hoth was the only ice planet i could come up with other than starkiller and that got blown up....., im sorry, may turn into a multi chap, my children, rey in a downward spiral, still have more to write though, unfollowed, wickedlywonderfulweekofreylo, worried about ooc-ness but whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-07-14 08:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7162151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperialblue/pseuds/imperialblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many little moments strung together concerning an ice planet, a cloak, and forgotten love. Set after TFA by a few months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She fell.

**Author's Note:**

> This is new and for wickedlywonderfulweekofreylo and It's and idea and story that I like a lot so I night continute it we'll see. (also I change tense a lot and i'll go back and fix it soon [because I don't have a beta} but it's 9:02 pm and i'm tired) On with the piece!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She fell out of the light.

Rey was cold. It was not unnatural for her, anything thing was cold compared to Jakku. She pulled the dark black fabric tighter around her shoulders. It made her feel protected. It might as well have been armour. She trenched farther into the snow, worrying that she would be swallowed whole. The ice stabbed her calfs like tiny lightsabers. Her loose pants only went a little farther than her knees. She reached under the ever flowing fabric and felt around for her saber. As she unclipped it from her belt her fingertips brushed another foreign object. 

 

The cool metal burned at her touch. It was worn, having numerous signs of damage and repair. The rims of the exhaust ports still had heat radiating from the inside. The heat was radiating off in waves, steady like a beating heart. She pulled her hand out with her lightsaber grasped with-in her grip. She ignited the blade; the two shafts of pale yellow came out of the ends. Her staff provided light where no moon did. She held the blade in front of her, keeping the fabric to her chest with one fist. The tattered black was smooth and comforting. 

 

_ That’s why he chose it. _

 

She tried feeling across the bond again to no avail. Over time she has learned that if he doesn’t want to be found he’ll just close the bond. He is very good at hiding from her. She is good at finding him regardless.

 

Another wave of heat came fromt the other weapon still clipped to her side. This one was burning. It burned her skin under her clothes. She knew it was only the force playing tricks on her, but it felt so real. She dropped into the wet snow and let go of her staff. She freed his saber from her belt and away from her body. She tried to drop the hilt but the force would not allow it. She felt her consciousness leave her as she saw her own body collapse into the snow with only his black cloak to shield her from the elements.

  
  


_ You will bring her to me. _

_ Yes, Supreme Leader. I will not fail you again. _

 

_ I’ll lure him away in a pod.  _

_ Rey! No. _

 

_ Take off that mask. I already know what you’re hiding. _

_ Supreme Leader will be pleased. _

 

_ We’re on Hoth. _

_ How did you-- _

_ Mother. _

_ She’s a jedi boys: We’re sure to get at least a million credits for her role in starkiller. _

_ Kylo!  _

_ Ben! _

 

_ Let me help you with that. _

_ Alright, but only once. I don’t like fraternizing with the enemy. _

 

_ I thought we agreed-- _

_ You were projecting! _

 

_ Ben! Wake up!  _

_ I don’t answer to that anymore.  _

_ You just did.  _

 

_ Scavenger. _

_ Monster. _

 

_ You just laughed. _

_ It’s a rarity. _

 

_ Name one nice thing about me.  _

_ Your smile. _

 

_ I was supposed to capture you . _

_ I know. _

 

_ I’m cold. _

_ Here take my cloak. _

 

_ I’m supposed to hate you. _

_ You should. I’m truly a monster. _

 

_ Don’t come near me.  _

_ I won’t. _

 

_ You’re shivering. Come here. _

_ I don’t need your help. _

_ Well then go away. _

_ Maybe I will.   _

 

_ Rey… _

_ Say something, please I don’t want to lose you.  _

 

_ I’m a monster. _

_ If so I’ve fallen in love with a beast. _

 

_ Don’t follow me.  _

_ Why not? _

 

_ I’m a danger to you. _

_ I’m the only one who gets to decide that.  _

 

_ Ben Organa-Solo, How daare... you…. _

_ I’m Sorry.  _

 

_ The cloak on the ground. His lightsaber resting neatly next to her head. _

 

_ The little boy with green eyes. _

 

_ The darkness is dominate again. _

  
  


The warmth welcomed her now. She woke up in a haze. She was on a floor. There floor of where she didn't know. She sat up hesitantly. She was warm. The onyx cloak still on her shoulders. Her arm wraps had been placed next to fire and that's when she saw her shirt. She felt under the cloak, she was still wearing a shirt, if it was not her own then whose?

 

That is when she saw him at the mouth of what appeared to be a cavern. 

 

"I told you not to follow me," He says softly with his back to her.

 

"Incase you haven't noticed," She says. "I'm not very good at following directions. And question WHY AM I WEARING YOUR SHIRT?"

 

"Because you had already showed signs of frostbite and you could could have died,” he bites back. “I didn't look, I promise.” Rey can tell that he's not lying.

 

"Thank you, for the second time," she sighs. "I don't like being in debt to people."

 

_ Then you will have to thank me again, unfortunately. I'm not bringing you to him. _

 

_ WHAT? _ she screams over the bond.  _ Ben. Kylo. Ren. What are you doing? You know what he’ll do if he finds out. _

 

_ Just know that I love you. So much. _

 

"BEN. No. YOU CAN'T ABANDON ME ON THIS DREADFUL PLANET."

 

"Don't follow me. Please.”

 

"Just comm someone to pick me up before you leave. I love you," she says quietly.

 

"I know you do." He walks closer bringing his hand to rub his thumb against her cheek. She tries to reach up and bring him closer to her face like it is in all the holos. He stops her.

 

_ No. I want you to remember it. _

 

As soon as she realises what he means she wants to scream. All that comes out before her 

knees buckle underneath her is a wimper. He stumbles over his long limbs to catch her.

 

“We’ll see each other again,” he tells her holding her slight frame close to his chest. “I just hope you don’t kill me the next time we do.”

He carries her like he did twice before to his ship. He drops her off on a green planet closer  

to the core then he would like. A planet she knows and loves, no less. A planet that he visited millions of times with his father. He discreetly leaves her on the doorstep of his old sitter who will get her where she needs to go He leaves her bundled in his cloak and away from the fresh rain. 

  
  


_ Where did you go Rey? _

_ I don't remember. _

 

_ Did you see him? _

_ I'm sorry general. I don't remember. _

 

_ She’s been fraternizing with the enemy. _

_ She hasn't. The force tells me so. _

 

_ Maz knows no more than us. _

_ She was dropped off in the middle of the night. _

 

_ He was worried about you. _

_ I know. _

 

_ I missed you. _

_ I know. _

  
  


She was gone for two months. The one thing preventing them from declaring her dead was luke, leia, and Finn insisting that they would have felt it. She feels like there was something to remember. After months of raking her brain like autumn leaves, she still had nothing. Her memory was black and ended when woke up on Takodana. 

 

She was having trouble sleeping at night. She felt empty. She tossed and turned, ending up on the floor most of the time watching Holo shows that were picked up from the core worlds. This did not help her training and Luke would just put her to sleep to ease the restless nights.

She pulled on her bond with the monster a few time but he didn’t respond. She felt feelings from him though. Pain. Sadness. He was projecting a great deal. She didn’t really care, but it was kinda annoying. After a while Finn dubbed him, Cry-lo Ren, She didn’t really like this. She wasn’t really sure why though. 

  
  


“Rey,” Finn said entering her room. “Maz sent you a package.”

 

Rey was perplexed. She hadn’t asked for anything. She hadn’t heard anything from her since her left Takodana. Finn read her the letter. .

 

Rey My child,

 

Heard that you still can’t remember. Don’t worry it will come to you in good time. I have enclosed some comfort food and a soft blanket. Stay safe and tell my boyfriend to come back soon. (Tell that boy of yours to stop pestering me too).

May the force be with you,

Maz

 

Rey loved the gesture, but she threw out the food immediately. It had gone bad during transport. She kept the blanket though. It was soft and grey, it smelled familiar like maybe the castle or the forest itself. It was welcoming all the same. She thought the boy was Finn or Poe. Those boys had been worked up about her missing memories. She brushed it aside for another time, though and thanked Finn for reading it to her. She still did not truly understand basic and asked him to write a thank you note for her. He obliged and left with a simple goodbye. He could tell she was tired.

  
  


What resulted was her first good night sleep since in ages. She had never sleep well in her life really. Everything was too much. Jakku was hot and everything afterwards was too cold in comparison. This felt right and warm though. It was comforting. 

  
  


The next time she saw him, it was only for a second. She got on Corellia as he was getting off. It was his father’s home planet and a reported first order hot spot. When she remembered Han she remembered him falling eternally. She remembered his smile too and that made it worse. 

 

She wanted to charge him. Make him pay. For the only man who have been a father in her life, who he killed. 

 

They locked eyes (or at least she thought so, he was wearing the mask) and he made no move. Neither the she and they parted ways.

  
  


Then next time was a little less non-confrontational. When they fought it felt different then starkiller. His heart wasn’t in it or she had simply gotten much stronger. She couldn’t tell, he was wearing the mask.

_ It was the scar, _ she told herself.  _ He doesn’t want me to see it _ .

They were evenly matched and drew.

But his touches on her hands lingered long after he was gone.

  
  


She started feeling urges. There was voices, almost always at night. Telling her to do the immoral thing. At first she assumed that it was Kylo trying to turn her, it was something more sinister than him. She found that it was his master, trying to persuade her. Her body felt possessed at times. One night she woke up cold sweat and mid scream. She explained that she just saw a spider and that she took care of it. She still refused to tell Luke. He had an apprentice fall before her and she would take care of it and make sure it wouldn’t happen again. She knew that Leia couldn’t take another heartbreak another child falling from grace. She wouldn’t let it happen. She requested a room on the edge of the base and said it was for ‘jedi purposes’. Though anything of it, Luke lived on Ach-to for 6 years. Hermitage must just be a jedi thing, she was convinced that she was no jedi though. 

No one heard her screams anymore, and when she was in public she put on a bubbly face. She was no different from Ren anymore. 

He was still alive she could tell. She pull on the bond though and never heard back. She just assumed that he was ignoring her and left him alone.

  
  


Ren’s master came more frequently, she was weak and hadn't slept in a week. The little naps with the blanket helped only a little as she was always called in by somebody. Luke, Leia, Finn, Poe. By now she thought that the only reason was to make sure she was still alive. Luke, Leia, and Finn could sense a shift in her, but weren’t quite sure if it was the dark. Poe just though she had depression like his dad when his wife died. 

She would walk around her room a lot. The blanket wrapped around her shoulders as if she was being hugged. This felt familiar, but couldn’t remember from where. 

  
  


She caught the blanket in the zipper on her bedding. She had to cut the blanket to free the zipper and she was upset and angry at herself for letting it happen. She began to cry. She thought she had no more tears left. She examined the hole. She could get someone to fix it.  She looked at the gray lining and found herself staring into the void. It was filled with fluffy white stuff and shredded scraps of black fabric. She pulled out the black. It was very curious. It was high quality and very soft. It was tough, worn, and smelled like the rest of the blanket -- of fresh rain, fire, and something else -- coconut butter she supposed. She had only smelled it once. It was part of a rash lotion in the med bay. 

She was confused. There was something she was forgetting. She shrugged off the feeling. Sleepy was an understatement right now and she was probably just hallucinating. She sewed the blanket with her mini med kit and curled up and watched some holos. She fell asleep thinking about coconut butter and the color of the darkness that had swept over her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. He Rose.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He rose out of the ashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to update this but someone showed interest, so I figured I would continue the story. It's short but who cares. Hope you like it and may the force be with you.

Kylo was good at hiding things. HIs mind, his heart, his intentions. He knew how to lock them up. There was one person he could not hide his feelings from.

 

And she was gone to him. A ghost. 

 

He could sense her confusion, and her restlessness. Why could she not remember these things? Why did the puzzle not fit together? 

 

He knew it annoyed the scavenger in her. It wasn’t a well oiled machine. It had ruined pieces. 

 

And it wasn’t something she could fix. Not on her own. 

 

He could feel the darkness swelling in her too. Her blinding light was fighting. Fighting his master’s hold. 

 

It pained him. He could hear her cries. 

 

His only peace was knowing that a small piece of him was with her. 

 

The shredded pieces of his cloak hidden in a blanket. He’d pleaded with Maz to send it. Late night visits to Takodana, needing updates about Rey’s condition. He was like a puppy. 

 

_ Please, I need to know. _

 

_ Ben Solo. That girl needs your help. Only you can do this.  _

  
  


_ I can’t. _

 

_ You love her don’t you. _

  
  


_ Please give her this. Don’t let them know it was me. It will help her a little.  _

 

_ Until you can take action? _

 

_ Yes. _

 

He had visions sometimes. Of futures he didn’t want. Futures he didn’t want for her. 

 

The things he saw. The things he knew. 

 

The things that he couldn’t change. 

He could change it, but not yet. 

 

Not yet. 

 

He hoped it wouldn’t be too late. 

 

He pushed the datacard into the port. The port screen loaded. He punched in the encrypted code Maz gave him. 

 

He took a breath. He pressed the enter button. The comm started. The voice modulator was active and the video was disabled.

 

When he heard the voice on the other end of the line his breath hitched. 

 

“How did you get this number? This is a private line.” 

 

HIs mother’s voice was older. More pained and tired. Not like he remembered it. 

 

“I’m am a sympathiser within the ranks of the first order. I have vital information that will help you defeat General Armitage Hux at Dantooine.” The modulator made his voice sound higher and sweeter. Softer and girly. He didn’t like it, but it seemed to work.

 

“Why should I trust this intel?” She asked. “What if this is a trap?”

 

“You don’t have another choice. We know you are outnumbered. This will give you a chance. I also have information about Snoke and what he plans to do with the young force user.” 

 

He could feel his mother shift.

 

Was Rey okay?

 

“What is He doing to her?” Leia asked quietly.

 

“He is trying to break her spirit and corrupt her mind. He’s having a difficult time with it. I suggest you get her in hiding now. Before something bad happens.”

 

“How can I trust you?” She asked silently asking luke to check on his student. 

 

“Two words. Ben Solo.” He shuts down the comm. 

  
  


_ I’m Sorry Master. I can’t fight it.  _

 

_ Padawan.  _

  
  


_ You will call me master now child.  _

 

_ Yes Master. _

  
  


_ I’m sorry Finn. She’s gone. _

 

_ Where? _

  
  


_ Where am I? _

 

_ Your head. _

  
  


_ Mom. I need you to meet me on Takodana. I need your help.  _

 

_ It was you wasn’t it.   _

  
  
“Yes.” 


	3. She destroyed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She destroyed the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might rewrite this story and re-title it. I really like this story that I am creating. I don't think that this short piece thing is going to work though because I want to tell a full story. I let you all read this though and give me some thoughts before I do anything like that. Enjoy!

When he first saw her in person it was only for a second. He was concealed in his shadows. She was firmly in the light. He knew that it had had happened. He had seen photos of the girl who used to be Rey. He just hadn’t expect to see her. 

 

The loose black silks falling away from her shoulders. The Black velvet pants. She was a hurricane. Black and storming, with a look of anger and disgust permanently plastered onto her face. She twirled her twin red sabers in her hands. He didn’t think the style or the color fit her at all. 

 

At least, it didn’t fit the girl that he had known years ago.

 

He clutched the pale yellow shard around his neck. It pained him to see this girl. She was pure rage. She had inserted herself into the slaughter mercilessly. 

 

The girl he knew wouldn’t have done that. 

`

The girl that he was watching was a different person. This girl was Korina Ren. 

  
  


_ I don’t want to trust you. _

 

_ You don’t have a choice. _

  
  


_ Ben, You loved her? _

 

_ Who couldn’t mother. _

  
  


_ I’m so sorry for what I did. I know you can never forgive me.  _

_ But I need to help Rey. I need the light once more. _

 

_ Time heals all wounds my boy.  _

  
  


_ Can I have this please? I need a piece of her. I need to keep going.  _

 

_ Only if I get the other piece. You weren’t the only one who got attached.  _

  
  


_ There’s been reports of a new leader to the Knights of Ren. This one is not hiding behind a mask. _

 

_ I’ve failed. _

_ Come on, Rey would want to see either of us like this.  _

_ Regardless about who see would have picked. _

 

_ Rey is DEAD. All that’s left is Korina.  _

_ I can’t feel her, I can’t feel her anymore.   _

 

She tore through those who opposed her. Her reverse grip was unforgiving. 

 

She still favored ataru, but there was something else now.

 

There was a look he all too knew well. 

 

He knew it well because he was it sawing back at him in the mirror everyday for 20 years of his life. 

 

_ Korina Ren, you have been an excellent pupil.  _

_ Far better than the previous. _

 

_ Thank you Master. _

  
  


_ I can fight you. I can break out of here.   _

 

_ No, you are a weak little girl. I am far stronger than you could ever be.  _

_ You are a scavenger who was left on a desert planet to rot away.  You are nothing.  _

  
  


_ Korina Ren reportedly led the attack on Chandrila. There were no survivors. _

 

_ She needs to be stopped.  _

  
  


_ I promise you I can do this. I won’t be seduced. _

 

_ I know you mean well my boy, but you’ve said that  _

_ once before and look where we are now. _

 

There was a new sensation. He thought it was his heart beating out of his chest. He looked down. A pale yellow shone through the darkness. It was the glow from a crystal. One of her  _ old _ crystals.

 

There was two things he thought could be happening.

 

Finn could be trying to communicate through the crystals, or someone was reaching out and touching it. 

 

A broken female voice shot it’s way into his head. 

 

“Kylo. Help me.They’re too strong.” 

 

It was her. It was Rey.  _ His  _ Rey. The one her knew. 

 

He heard another voice too. Sharper. Harsher. It sent shivers down his spine. 

 

“I thought I got rid of you already.”

 

His gaze fell on Korina Ren. She had frozen everyone. Knights. Villagers of Dermos. She was staring right back at him and advancing towards him. 

 

“Kylo Ren, How nice of you to visit. The Supreme Leader will be pleased to see you,” The chilling voice said. It was still her voice, but it had lost all of it’s warmth. 

 

He proceeded to run away. But was stopped in his tracks with her sheer force. He could hear her come up behind him. 

 

“So I see she reached you. I saw your face. She may not remember your truth. But I do. I remember It all,” She came around him and assessed his face. “I remember the snow. The cloak. Which you turned you turned into a lovely blanket and gave to the old woman I recall. I believe the measly little girl still has it draped around her shoulders whenever I see her apparition. I can assure you that she is dead, I knew you were wondering. Korina is here and has taken up residence.” 

 

He opened his mouth surprised that he could speak. 

 

“I’ve heard that before. I thought I killed Ben. But here I am. I will not stop until I get  _ Rey _ back,” He said. “The light will be stronger than than the darkness. I will free her.”

 

“If this light that you speak of is so strong, then why does the darkness still call to you? Why was I able to overtake a girl with bloodline of do-gooders? Why was I able to destroy the granddaughter of Obi-wan Kenobi?”

 

Rey never talked about a family. She had said Jakku and left it at that. He hadn’t wanted to pry. 

 

Did  _ she _ even know this?

 

Korina Ren looked at his necklace. 

“Oh what could this be?” She teased. “Oh yes now. I remember. It’s half of her crystal. That traitor vermin must have the other one I take it?” She stuck her hand out to grab it. The yellow crystal burst to life. 

 

Korina Ren shot backwards with a burst of pure light, and fell into the mud. She lost her hold on him. He fell into a heap of limbs. He lifted himself off the ground and made his way to his cloaked x-wing. It was way too cramped for his large frame, but the resistance made do. 

 

He began ignition procedures and engaged the hyperdrive without a second thought. 

  
  


_ I am strong Korina. I pushed you away from him.  _

_ I don’t know everything that you know, but I will get  _

_ back outside of you. To my family. _

 

_ You know nothing of strength child.  _

_ I will show you true power. _

  
  


_ I saw her. Korina. Something happened,  _

_ and I don’t think Rey’s dead inside there.  _

 

_ How do you know? _

  
  


_ She’s still fighting korina’s hold. There is still light in her.  _

 

_ That’s our girl.  _

  
  


_ Are you positive Ben? _

  
_ Yes Mother. She’s alive. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment if you got any of the references and please leave kudos! May the force but with you!


End file.
